Yup, I am One of Them

Truly, I never thought I'd be one of those parents. But everyday I find myself going down the path of no return. I've posted pictures of my kid on social media. In fact, every photo that I have on my Instagram account is of my child. I've even had the Facebook evolution of college fun, first job pictures, first self paid vacation photos, adult life photos, wedding photos, then.....kid pics.

Just tonight I thought back to my old self a long, long time ago, 6 years ago, I'd always wondered, "Why do people always have to talk about their kids?" Being in that position now, I have a small insight into that perspective. My kid rocks! Yes, I said it, MY KID ROCKS. And I am not even pretending to be my cousin on Instagram.

I've found that I can't help but share my joy with others. Yes, it was so annoying when my mother used to drag me to meet her all of her friends that I didn't know. Yes, it was terrible to hear someone ask me questions they already knew the answers to because my parents had already told them countless times before. Yes, I knew that my parents friends only humored my parents and I went along with it anyways and couldn't wait for the pain and suffering to end. Yes, I promised I'd never do anything like that to my kids. Yes, I will do the same things to my kids that my parents did to me because, why not? I love my son so much there's nothing no one can do/say to change my mind about it. So, I'll over indulge when I am given the opportunity.

Lastly, I'd like, to leave you with some "My kid..." statements, you know, kinda like the good ole "Yo mama..." jokes. 

My kid is so cute I pull him up out of his crib just to snuggle him at night.
My kid is so funny, because he runs with his hands behind his back like a super hero's cape blows in the wind.
My kid has the best hair because even I don't know what to do with it.
My kid is so cool that he makes my awful wardrobe combinations look fletch.
My kid is the best because he's the only one I've got, and you don't have him.
My kid brightens my day with a smile and a hug, not in that particular order.

Bittersweet

Today I walked back into my old high school. Not only were my memories bitter, they were sweet. Lots people say memories are bittersweet and now I think I know why. My school has totally changed. Not only are all of the walls painted, the classrooms have been changed, too. The place where my fondest memories took place has gone under the most dramatic transformation.

The dimensions of the gym are the same and the funky playground hoops on the sidelines are still there but that is just about it. Everything else has totally changed. The kelly green court has changed to a rich forest green. The faded wood basketball court that saw performances of all kinds and thousands of feet from P.E., volleyball and countless other sports has been replaced. The court has even been named. Some of the banners that my teams earned (which was supposed to be our lasting legacy) have been removed and put into a storage room where lots and lots of shenanigans took place. My memories have been whitewashed and green washed and updated and replaced. That’s the bitter part.

 The sweet was seeing a new batch of kids all over the school. Walking through the hallway to the gym, I overheard so many of the old conversations I had so many years ago. I knew then that the students were busy creating their own memories that are just as sweet as mine were: sneaking out of the cafe to get shots up in the gym, throwing tin foil balls at your friends in the hallway, or even trying to get away with wearing Tim’s because they weren’t in the dress code. 

Wow, now that I think about it, I was a hooligan.

You Got Something to Say?

I once had a teammate, Christian Cavanaugh. He once said to me in the locker room, "Bruff, you've always have something to say." Most of the time he was right. Sometimes what I had to say was spot on, rude, borderline or just plain ridiculous, but most often it was just something that came off the tip of my tongue from my brain. 

Maybe it was the household I grew up in. You see, if you had something worth saying in my house, you kind of had to make a big deal about it otherwise no one would listen. Or maybe I always had something to say because I was a middle child. Those middle children, including myself, always get the you know what part of the stick. Or better yet, maybe I always had something to say because I thought everyone cared to hear it.

In order to get your message across one needs to 3 things: a soap box, the right delivery, and finally, a receptive audience. Being a teacher, usually I can say that I have 2 out of the 3 (the receptive audience really depends on the previous night's sleep of the students). During the school day I am not up there spewing my thoughts on how to change America or my useless opinion on other things. Instead, I do whatever I can to help my students.

I guess help isn't the right word. I want to say encourage, develop, polish, shine and praise learners. But looking back on what I just said, it appears that what I do is more of a process. It is a process that I did not take full advantage of when I was younger and my wish is that all my students take advantage of now. Man, I sound like my father.

Throughout the day at work I do whatever I can to reach students in different ways. Sometimes I use methods that I worked for me. At other times I use what I learned in school or from other colleagues.  Most importantly I also try to explain to my students the value of what they are learning. Although there has a been a big push in education for teachers to post objectives of every lesson, this has left many students with the ability to recite the objective with no true understanding of it. I do whatever I can to bridge the gap for them.

At times that requires me to tell a story about learning the hard way (something both the students and I enjoy greatly), other times it means I must give a demonstration, and other times I dramatize the situation and make a joke of things. No matter what, I must have the same outcome. The students need to grow as learners.

Now coming full circle on Christian Cavanaugh. I still have something to say. At times that means I push my students to do more, teach them better strategies to show their learning, or share a story to create a better context for their learning.

Pay it Forward

For the Love of Shoveling 

Yesterday I spent more than 4 hours shoveling. Most people would say that shoveling for that long is just ridiculous, a waste of manual labor hours, silly or unfortunate. I spend the time shoveling very well. To get ready for most shoveling expeditions, I prepare as if I am going skiing, except I am just going to be moving snow from point a to point b.

Attire:

• ski socks
• snow pants
• long sleeve dry fit
• Columbia jacket
• face warmer
• mittens (way better than gloves)
• hat

Ancillary Pieces:

• cell phone
• book (top choice over music) to listen to
• head phones
• Chapstick
• gum
• tissues (in case you've got a leaky faucet)
• shovel
• roof rake
• beverage getting frosty in the garage

  

  Gooning it up with an icicle.

Yesterday I was actually really excited to be out shoveling. You see I have a book that I've been listening to every time I get into my car. And with school vacation this week, I won't be able to finish the book. No trips to school this week, no listening. So it may sound strange but I was really looking forward to get outside to shovel.

As I was getting into my zone, putting on my attire and double checking all my ancillary pieces I stopped to think, could my shoveling day get any better? Yes!

My neighbor from across the street brought his snow blower over and said, "Save your back. Here, use my snow blower." What a guy. Now I get to play with a machine that throws snow (I would have loved this as a kid) while listening to my book through my phone! A snow blower is like a mobile power tool. I'm getting excited thinking about it again.

Could my shoveling day get any better? Yes!

As my neighbor walked back to his house, he stopped and talked to a guy who had a plow on the front of his truck. That didn't strike me as odd or anything like that. Especially since my neighbor knows everyone. I stated the snow blower up and started working on the end of the driveway. Over the sound of the engine and the narrator, I hear my neighbor yelling out, "Chris, Stephen is going to plow the front of your driveway."Are you kidding me?

As the guy with the plow drives up, I realize that his parents lives next door to me. They are older and wanted to make sure neither one of his parents went outside to do any snow removal. He was plowed for them and decided to help me out. What a guy?

So I watched the truck go back and forth and realized what the plow did in 5 minutes would have taken the snow blower 15 minutes and my back/arms around 40 minutes. A couple of things went through me mind. I am really lucky, nope, that is not it. I must have paid it forward sometime ago and things are going full circle, that must be it.

Example of Me Paying it Forward

A couple of weeks ago when we had 16 inches, I shoveled my driveway, the neighbor's driveway who let me borrow his snow blower and another neighbor's driveway who lives across the street from me. Now, we knew that certain neighbors had left to go vacation so we said that we'd take care of their driveway. They'd do the same for us. However, on my short walk home I saw a neighbor, Josie, who recently had rotator cuff surgery outside shoveling her driveway. I probably should mention that she stopped working because she's out on disability.

So, I went over to help her shovel. After 40 minutes or so I finished up and went home. Two days later it snowed just over 2 feet. After getting help from another neighbor who likes to talk basketball with me I was inside warming up. Kim decided to look out the window to admire the handiwork of moving snow. She says, "Chris! Do you see what Josie is doing?" I look out the window and see that Josie was snow blowing her driveway. Seriously. I couldn't make that up. I definitely paid it forward when I shoveled the driveway of a person who decided they didn't want to use their snow blower.

Call to Action

What advice do I have for others about paying it forward? Believe it or not, I have none. You should do what's right all the time. That is hard to do. Especially when you really don't want to. At times, you might not want to stop what your doing to to help someone else because of the inconvenience it may cause you. There are plenty of times I don't want to stop what I'm doing for someone else. However, I've always said, "If it were easy everyone would do it." It is even harder to do the right thing and not expect something in return. All I can say is aspire to be the best person you can. What else can anyone ask of you?

Final Game

The final game of the season came, went and is now done and over with. I am in a Sherman mood. Not because the season is over, no, not because of that. I was Shermanized (please click to see the pain and anguish I felt over the 35 seconds it took for my team to blow the lead). 
We lost to a team who had already beaten us. Although the team out performed us down the stretch when it really mattered, I thought we had grown enough as a team to over come some of the obstacles that the other team threw up against us.

What made it worse was the coach, players, and fans from the opposing players seemed so smug before, during and after the game. Jumping around in the huddle, snide looks and rude comments before the game started. And finally, the opposing coach comes in to the gym and tells the refs to start the game before I even got there. Seriously, I've got enough reasons to be upset and I've got even more excuses to give as to why my team didn't win. But at the end of the day, when you lose, you've got to give all the credit to the other team.

They deserved to be smug, too. With 2:01 left on the game clock and the opposing team down by 6, on the road, playing in a dumpy gym and my team had the lead for the entire game, the other team came back to win by 5. They caused turnovers, they forced my team back into their shells and proved who should win the game. Lastly, they backed up all the hooplah that has followed them all season.  They finished the season as the only unbeaten team.

Who cares how close they came to almost losing? They sure don't. After all, almost only matters in Horseshoes and with hand grenades.

What has got me feeling Sherman is the way we finished. I know that no one wants to lose their last game of the season. In fact, my basketball career ended on a loss. What a horrible way to go out! I can say that from experience. With that being said, I thought as a team we grew and that is what matters over the course of a season.

It is just too bad that I will have a brand new group of kids next year. 100% turnover is what I've got to deal with since I am only a freshmen coach. This was the year to go undefeated, or will it be next year?

Back Pain and Ibuprofen

I have done 24 days of Insanity. The pressure I've put on myself to complete Insanity has not helped me get through. I've been able to create new excuses that I had never even done when i was training for basketball.

With that being said, I am beginning to feel a lot of the same pains I used to have when I played college basketball. It begins with back tightness when I wake up, then evolves into my knees cracking after prolonged motionlessness, and finally hip flexor immobility if I am not moving athletically throughout the day. Man it stinks getting old.

I've digressed from my point but it is essential that you know the types of excuses I make for myself. It gets even harder for me when I look across the room and see pictures on the wall of me smiling. I look so happy, and just before I work out, those pictures don't encourage me. Why you ask. Because that Chris in the pictures doesn't have any ailments that can quickly turn into excuses to not work out. That Chris is relaxing on vacation without a care in the world. Where as this Chris is having heart palpitations contemplating how I am supposed to get through Shawn T. screaming at me.

What has helped me get through the workouts has not been a pain reliever. It isn't even the pressure from posting on social media. Believe it or not, what gets me through the work out is knowing that once I start, I am that much closer to being done.

Now I've got to get my mind right so that my disposition to begin the workout is positive and energetic. What is it that Dale Carnegie said? "Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude. I need to make the mental change."

So that is what I'll do. The inner coach is going to blossom and come out of hibernation. I'll keep you updated on his progress.

Motivation

How do I motivate a group of freshmen boys? I have no idea how to successfully motivate a group of 14 or 15 year olds. It sounds super weird to say that but it's true. Being a coach of kids that age creates just a teensy problem. You might be thinking, "Is your team any good if you can't motivate them?" Actually yes, they are very good. They work their tails off. They are willing to put in the effort each and every time I ask something of them.

So what's my problem? I want them to start the game the way they finish games, by dominating and imposing their will on another team. My mentor and old coach told me that I can't coach other kids as if they were me. I know what he said is true. I agree with him so much that I try to reach the kids at their level. Even though I know what my mentor said is true, it's so hard to put that into practice once the frustration settles in.

Today for example, we were playing a team and our defense looked great. But we couldn't put the biscuit in the basket. I felt like I should just call a player over and tell them they needed to step up and make a play. If any of my coaches told me to step up when I was playing, I would have done whatever I needed to do to make a play. But I didn't say, "You need to make a play." Instead I called the point guard over and told him, "No matter what, run the offense and pound the ball inside."

The big guy ended up getting the ball, he got fouled, and scored easily. That play turned into 3 points. We got a stop on defense but the next trip down the court on offense, it was like we (I say we but I mean the 5 guys on the court) didn't know that the same big guy who scored so easily was still on the court.

I've played for a couple of coaches that micromanage the game. That ends up being a waste of time and it's not fun. Usually when those coaches were players, they needed someone to tell them what to do. My strength as a player was using the offense as a tool to showcase my talent. If we ran a play I knew how to score or how to set someone else up. I knew what my teammates strengths were and I looked to exploit the defense on every possession. I want my players to do the same.

You see? It is so tough not to coach players like they are yourself. To me is seems so easy:

• look 
• watch the game 
• read your teammates 
• read the opposition  

• make a good basketball decision.

I hope to show them the light. So I say to the boys, "Here is an offense that you can use to showcase your talent as a team. Look for opportunities to impose your will against whoever you play. Oh yeah, have fun, too!"Shouldn't that be enough to get a good freshmen team ready to dominate from the tip off?
I know that if a coach asked me to do something, I would probably shut my mouth and just do it. There were even times I gave a coach some lip but I still put my head down and did it. Today, my boys were getting after it with their effort and energy. We need to dominate on more than just effort; we need to score some points.

I gave them a few choice words in the middle of the third quarter and the boys decided to shut me up. With a new unit out on the court the boys began to make plays. They got steals, rebounds and they made layups. Once their playing time began to look in jeopardy they all began to make the best of every possession.

Thinking back to the game, it is hard for me to see what made the difference. Was it the way I talked to them? When I called a timeout just so I could yell at the ref, did that fire the boys up? Is it when I called another time out in the midst of a 4 on 1 (with my boys having the numbers in their favor) to chew them out? Do they need to hear me screaming, "I am tired of this game! Put them away now!"? Do I need to blow a gasket?

I think need to show some other than my RBF. Maybe the players think I am not happy and they are too focused on trying to please me. I'll have to be clear and let them know what makes me happy is when they play basketball effectively. That doesn't sound like a lot. But how do I get them to make that wish of mine a reality?

Maybe it's me who needs a better perspective. After all, we gave up 17 points at half time. That is pretty good. As a team we gave up only 24 total points in the game. Most people would be pleased and I am pleased about that. All but one player scored in the game. We did lots of other things well.

But I come back to my original question no matter how I look at it. How can I motivate the team to start games the way end games?